my worry

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step by step, I am proceeding ready for Ielts English Exam with planing after come backt to Japan.

I am trying to came up with various idea. a lot of things are repeating come across in my blane and gone.but these idea was not hit at home to my self.

(ピンとこないって言う意味だけど・・・高橋歩のバイリンガル版で見つけて引用しているけど正しいのか??) 

first of all, according my decicion ,my desiprin is1 I never repeat untilmnow that I have been doing.exanple,

I don’t work under temp agency.2 take advantage of working Holiday to get job and search and also I am thinking open up new direction. quit day labor, gain the post which is more stabillity and well-pay. 

onece I was younger, espacially when I was the first half,

I used to spend all my time in day labor for lead a life.besides, after quited aged-care, my salary was 6 man yen. (exchange to OZ dollar, 600 dollar!!) at that time,

I didn’t care my income. it was enogh even I could live a life. it was able to pay lkent, phone bill, little bit, I had worried to eat. my shopping was one on a month only when KAYOU ITI.(in Japan, many food store hold big discount day in every tuesday ) I used to buy bean sprouts only. after came back my home,

I had been laying down on the floor and thinking. 

(Is this independence? economy, and for adult. some thing is wlong absolutely .)  after I lead a life by day labor made me worn out.one by one, a lot of emotion is coming up from bottom of my heart. even now it is possible that stand for by word. suggest exactly at that time is,

I couldn’t satisfyied my life. should I keep live in this situation? while I can’t buy what I want?

 can I stay and live a life only 6 Man Yen whole of my life????? 

 look back from when I was child, I didn’t say to my taste and my ideal to my mother. my answer was [Anything will do ] always.  to not hope,,,,

I’ve been thinking about to not hope is good things.but after guraduated my college,

I had been troubled from this things.I didn’t figure out what should I want to do and what can I hope and aim. aftere while lead a life by change the job,

I was becoming lose my way and I can’t write my motibate why I applied for job offer.

when I stayed 2 season at ski area, one by one my unsatisfied part was getting bigger and it made me think to my future.   

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